The Perverted Monk Is Being Punished
by Kikyo is a kinky ho
Summary: Miroku has taken it a step to far by invading Kagome's personal space, wayyy to closely. Now, Sango and Kagome are going to punish the monk. How? By making him grope Kikyo! What will come out of this? Note: Kikyo Bashing, duh.
1. The Punishment Is Revealed

**I'm back! Woot Woot! Another story, wow, 2 in 2 days, I'm surprised. Well, I just realized I forgot my disclaimer on my other story, so I'll put it here, plus I need a disclaimer for this story too. Hey, it's like killing two birds with one stone, eh?**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN INUYASHA!! IF I DID, KIKYO WOULD ROT IN HELL FOR ETERNITY, SANGO AND MIROKU AND KAGOME AND INUYASHA WOULD BE TOGETHER ALREADY AND HAVE 83 KIDS, AND JAKEN WOULD GET STEPPED ON A LOT MORE. PLUS, I WOULDN'T BE WRITING FANFICTION IF I OWNED THE SERIES, NOW WOULD I? GENIUS!**

**There. You can also find this disclaimer on my profile page. Well, anyways, you peoples (a real word, by the way) are probably getting tired of my pointless babbling, so I'll stop. Now, ON TO THE STORY!!!**

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"MIROKU!" Sango roared. "GET YOUR PEREVERTED ASS BACK HERE!"

Said hentai swallowed nervously. Man, Sango was scary when she was angry.

'Note to self,' he thought, glancing at Sango's furious form from his hiding spot behind a tree, 'don't make Sango this mad ever again.'

Suddenly, Shippo leapt up onto Sango's shoulder and whispered something in her ear, pointing behind the tree that Miroku was currently cowering behind.

Miroku gulped as Sango looked in his direction and a very evil smirk appeared on her face. 'Uh oh…Not good…'

Sango started advancing towards him, and Miroku shrank back even further, but Kagome stopped her before she was even halfway to his hiding spot.

Miroku could tell Sango was irritated for the way she glowered at Kagome, but then she merely glared at him once more, before turning back to Kagome and sighing in defeat.

"Fine," she huffed irritably. "Miroku!" Sango yelled.

He crept out behind the tree cautiously, but when all he got was a dirty look, he relaxed and jogged over to Kagome.

"Kagome-sama," he panted gratefully, "Thank you so very much for-"

But, of course, he _just so happened _to trip over a rock.

Miroku waved his arms, trying desperately to regain his balance before he plummeted down onto the hard dirt path.

When his flailing hands hit something, he squeezed it forcefully.

**A/n: Can anybody guess what's going to happen now? ;)**

As soon Miroku managed to not topple onto the floor, he glanced up, expecting an "Are you ok, Miroku?"

What he didn't expect, was for Kagome to be glowering at him, eyes full of fury.

In fact, she looked like she wanted to punch him in the face, so Miroku looked down at his hands.

When he did, all of the color drained from his face and he started backing away.

"Lad-d-dy Kag-g-g-gome, I'm s-s-s-so sor-r-rry…" he stuttered fearfully.

She glared at him so intensely that Miroku shrieked in fear and ran around to cower behind a tree again.

'Note to self,' he thought, 'Kagome is even scarier than Sango when she's angry.'

He peered around the tree to sneak a glance at them.

Sango was standing there, listening to Kagome and nodding every now and then, a huge smirk on her face.

Kagome was whispering in Sango's ear, and her smirk was even bigger and more evil than Sango's, if that was even possible.

Every once in a while, the girls would glance over at the tree where Miroku was hiding, and they merely smiled, before turning back to the conversation.

Miroku was now officially freaked out. 'What are they talking about?' he wondered.

After a few moments of hushed voices and Miroku hiding behind his tree, Sango walked over to him, took his hand, startling him, and dragged him over to where Kagome was standing, looking rather smug.

"Miroku." She said coldly when Sango had dragged him to her and threw him at Kagome's feet.

"Now, now, Lady Kagome, you do realize that what I did was a complete and total accident, I didn't mean to-"

Kagome put out her hand to silence him.

He immediately shut his mouth.

"Sango, if you will."

She waved her hand in Sango's direction, and Miroku turned his head to look at the demon slayer questioningly.

"Miroku," Sango stated, "We," she gestured to herself, then to Kagome, "have decided that this time, your perverted deeds will not go as unpunished."

Miroku sighed in relief, thinking it was the usual slaps and punches.(Which actually didn't hurt that much)

Apparently though, Kagome heard him, because she whipped her head in his direction and glared at him icily.

Miroku gulped.

"So, anyways," Sango began again, "Me and Kagome have thought of a suitable punishment for your perverted actions."

"But Sango," Miroku whined.

"Silence!" She snapped. "You have gone far enough. I mean, really, groping me is bad enough. However, when you invade Kagome-chan's personal space, you have crossed the line Miroku. Kagome, would you like to tell the lecher here," she glared coldly at him, "What his punishment will be?"

Kagome smirked evilly at Miroku before nodding at Sango.

"Oh yes Sango, I would like that very much."

She turned to the monk.

Miroku gulped. He _really _didn't like the look the time traveling miko had in her eyes.

"Miroku!" Kagome declared in a loud, threatening voice. "Because you seem to like groping young women so much," she turned to Sango and her smirk got even bigger, if that was possible, "Your punishment for taking your perverted actions to far is…" she paused.

If Miroku was apprehensive before, he was an anxious wreck by now. He was sweating all over, he was shaking, and his eyes were darting nervously in between the two females.

'Come on,' he thought. 'Just get on with it.'

"Your punishment is…" Kagome repeated again.

There was a moment of silence.

"To grope Kikyo!" Kagome demanded loudly.

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**Mwuhahaha. I'm so evil, I know. Well, this is just a little story I thought up, and I couldn't resist a story with Kikyo bashing, (you'll find out next chapter) and plus, Miroku should be punished, I mean, come on! He has gone over the line _wayyy _too many times. So this is a story in which Miroku will be punished very severely by Kagome and Sango for being too perverted.**

**Besides, I think the girls should be in charge every once and a while. **

**I know, I know, Miroku seems a little OOC, but you would be doing the same thing too if you were in his position.**

**Besides, the girls are never very harsh and demanding, so he's probably a little freaked out.**

**Well, you peoples (still a real word!) all know what happened when Miroku tripped and grabbed on to the closest thing, right? It's ok if you don't, but it's kind of obvious. **

**So, I think that's about it. Don't forget to review please. I'm looking for at least 3 reviews. Should I continue, or not?**

**(Please say yes, I really like the Kikyo bashing in the next chapter.)**

**That's all folks:) **


	2. Inuyasha Learns Of The Punishment

**I'm really sorry, but this chapter is really short! Read author's notes at the bottom for details.**

**Note: There is slight MirokuxSango in here, and there is also very slight InuxKag too. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THESE PAIRINGS! I will not be held responsible if you do not like these pairings and read. It's your own fault.**

**Ok, I'm sorry, I kind of sounded like a bitch, but I just wanted to say that. I'm sorry if anybody got offended by that, I just wanted to tell me awesome readers that.**

**Review responses- **

**-Inuasha Aiko Taishio- Aww, thanks! I feel so special. Thanks for the review! VIRTUAL HUG!**

**RamdomReader- Hmm, what will she do to him? Unfortunately, that is not revealed is this chapter, but shall be soon, do not worry! Thanks for the compliment! VIRTUAL HUG!**

**Inuyasha Girl Foreva- Yes! Kinky Ho bashing!!! YES! I hate that stupid little…UGH! There's not even a word to describe how horrible she is! Well, thanks for the review. Your words cheered me up; it makes me feel good to know there are other people who hate Kikyo as much as me! VIRTUAL HUG! **

**I will stop blabbering now and let you read the next chapter!**

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"NO!" Miroku howled miserably.

"Anything but that," he pleaded, falling to his knees at the girl's feet as he put his hands together in a prayer position, and lifted them up as though begging (which is what he was doing.)

"Please, please, _please, _anything but that!"

The two females smirked at each other evilly, before Sango turned to the monk on the ground and said coldly, "Sorry Miroku," not sounding very sorry at all.

"Why Sango? Why Kagome? WHY?!"

"Why?" Kagome hissed. "Why?! WHY?! Because you're such a goddamn fucking PERV! Did you ever stop to think that perhaps, just maybe, girls don't like their butts to be stroked? Or have their breasts grabbed? Yeah, F.Y.I. Miroku, WE DON'T LIKE IT! 'Cept maybe Sango, but that's for an entirely different reason."

Sango flushed bright red before glaring at Kagome angrily.

Said miko shrugged.

"What? It's true."

"What are you talking about?! Why would I like it when that LECHER touches me?! IT'S DISGUSTING!!"

"Uh-huh," Kagome replied nonchalantly as she picked dirt from under her fingernails, unfazed by the demon slayer's outburst, "You just keep telling yourself that Sango. Maybe one day you'll believe it, but that day, is not today."

"WHAT?!" Sango screeched furiously, her face now bright red from anger. "Why on Earth would I like it when that pervert touches me?! I mean, what do you take me for, a slut?!"

"No, no, no, that's not what I meant, and you know it Sango!"

Miroku was edging away from the bickering females slowly, trying to escape inconspicuously.

Unfortunately though, he just _had_ to step on a fallen tree branch, making a loud _CRACK_ ring through the clearing.

Both women whipped their heads around to glare at Miroku, who cowered in fear under their intense looks.

"Where do you think you're going, eh, houshi?" Sango snarled, a feral tone clearly detectable in her usually cheerful voice.

"Ehh…I was…uh…just, um…" Miroku stuttered fearfully.

"You weren't trying to _escape, _were you?" asked Kagome, her voice deathly calm.

"…No." Miroku squeaked fearfully.

"Good."

Silence.

"Kagome?"

"Yes Sango?"

"The monk still needs to serve his punishment."

Miroku gulped, terrified.

"Aww, yes, thank you for reminding me Sango. But first, I must go back to my time to retrieve the video camera."

Sango nodded in agreement, but then added impatiently, "Hurry back, I wish to see the pervert get what he deserves."

Kagome nodded curtly.

"Yes. Me too."

* * *

When Kagome came back, she was carrying a small black bag, which inside laid a shiny, metal camcorder.

"Oh, Inuyasha!" She called.

Nothing.

"Oh, INUYASHA!" She cried again.

Nothing.

"OSUWARI!" she screamed, and from behind, she could hear a large _BAM!_ as Inuyasha plummeted to the hard, cold, unforgiving ground, followed by a "DAMN YOU!"

"Oh, there you are," Kagome said cheerfully. "I have a favor to ask of you."

"Keh," Inuyasha muttered as he got up, dusting himself as he did. "Why should I help you, wench?"

He knew that was bad move as soon as he said it, and his ears flattened as he flinched reflexively, expecting to be sat again.

However, Kagome just smiled and ignored him, saying, "Aww, you will? Gee, that's so nice of you!"

"Uhh...you're welcome." Inuyasha was confused. She wasn't going to sit him?

"Ok, well, I need you to…"

* * *

With Sango and Miroku

* * *

"So…" Miroku stated awkwardly, trying to make conversation.

"So…" Sango echoed.

"How are we going to locate Kikyo?" Miroku asked, finally just accepting his punishment.

"Well, Kagome-chan said she was going to have Inuyasha sniff her out, but I don't know if he's going to do that, so me and Kagome-chan have a plan B, just in case."

"Oh, really? And just what is this plan B?"

Sango smirked.

"Oh, don't worry, you'll see."

Miroku gulped. He _really _didn't like the look Sango had on her face.

* * *

Back with Kagome and Inuyasha

* * *

"You want me to do WHAT?!" Inuyasha yelled, disbelief etched across his face.

"We want you to sniff out Kikyo for us."

"I know that, but, still!"

"What?" Kagome asked. "I don't really get why you're making such a big deal about this, especially because I know you want to."

"Yes, I know, I _want _to, but I don't want to just to let Miroku grope her!" **(A/n: It almost burned my fingers to write these words.)**

Kagome didn't even flinch when he said that he wanted to sniff Kikyo out, because she would have her revenge soon enough…

"So? You get to sniff the dead whore-I mean, Kikyo, out. Besides, this is Miroku's punishment, and we will not let this go. So it's either you sniff her out, or I make you! And let me tell you, you don't want me to make you. It will be most painful."

Inuyasha was so immersed in not having to find Kikyo and have Miroku grope her, that he didn't notice Kagome's little "slip of the tongue".

"Fine," He huffed in agreement, "But I get to pound the monk afterwards."

"Fine. Just find Kinky ho- I mean, Kikyo, for us."

This time, Kagome wasn't so lucky in concealing her little "slip."

"What did you call her?" Inuyasha growled. **(A/n: I almost threw up when I wrote this. Don't worry though, Inu will change his mind soon enough!)**

"What are talking about?" Kagome asked innocently.

"You know what." The half-demon grunted.

"I do? Really? Umm…ok. If you say so. Now just go find Kikyo for us!"

"Stupid bitch." Inuyasha muttered under his breath as he ran off to find the little slut- I mean, Kikyo. Unfortunately, he wasn't out of earshot when he said this, so Kagome heard him.

"Osuwari!" she yelled.

When he slammed into the ground, she walked over to him, bent down, and then whispered in his ear, "Aww, I'm so glad you think of me as yours already. I thought I was going to have to do some persuading."

Inuyasha jumped up in surprise, but Kagome had already turned around and strolled out of the clearing.

"I'll go get Miroku and Sango!" she called over her shoulder.

"Kikyo had better be here when I get back!" she threatened. "Or someone will have to pay the price! And it ain't gunna be Miroku!"

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**Yes, it's short, I'm sorry! However, there are a lot of ways I can start the next chapter, so I want you guys to tell me what you want to happen.**

**IMPORTANT! IMPORTANT! READ! Ok, where do you guys want the next chapter to start?**

**Scenario one- We follow Inuyasha on his way to go get the dead whore, and we follow the two on their way back to the monk**, **the demon slayer, and the time traveling miko**. **(A.k.a. Miroku, Sango, and Kagome.)**

**Scenario two- We follow Kagome on her way to get Miroku and Sango, and we follow all three of them on their way back to the clearing where the punishment will take place.**

**Scenario three- We follow Miroku and Sango, and listen in on their conversation, then Kagome comes, and we follow them back to the clearing with Inuyasha and Kinky ho, same as the end of the last scenario. **

**Scenario four- We follow Inuyasha and the slut, then go back in time and follow Kagome, then go back in time and follow Sango and Miroku. So, all of the scenarios.**

**Tell me watcha want! I'm not looking for a certain number of reviews this time, but remember, the more I get, the faster I update!**

**Lots o' love, **

**KIAKH **


	3. Dogboy and Kinkyho's Kind of Trip Back

**Yes, KIAKH is back from the dead!!! MWUHAHAHA!!! I HAVE RETURNED!!!**

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Inuyasha ran through the forest quickly, trying to find the dead whore we know as Kikyo for Miroku's punishment.

He stopped and tilted his nose towards a small group of trees that were rustling, although not from the wind. His eyes lit up and he smirked. 'Bingo.'

Out from behind the trees came the slut, and she didn't look that happy.

"Inuyasha," she said in her cold, dead-sounding, monotone voice. "Why have you summoned my presence?"

He merely smirked, although he almost shuddered from the disgusting smell of clay, death, and bones.

'Wow, she smells like shit!' He thought.

"Come, come," He gestured to her with one long, clawed finger. "We must hurry, or else Kagome'll have my head." He gulped.

Kikyo glided eerily towards the half-demon, who in turn spun around and bounded gracefully away, leaving the clay doll floating creepily after him on her soul stealers.

As the two walked, err, floated, towards the clearing, Inuyasha didn't even look at the dead priestess beside him, instead focusing solely on getting back before the teenager from the 20th century had his head!

* * *

After a good few minutes of no sound save for the rustling of clothing and the swish of the wind, Kikyo finally got fed up with the (kind of) perturbing silence of her "companion", so she turned swiftly towards the hanyou, (while still floating in the air somehow) and demanded coldly, "Inuyasha, where are we going?" 

The half-demon contemplated not answering her, but after glancing over at the dead priestess, he shook his head and answered, "I'm sorry Kikyo, but that information is classified and I cannot reveal it to you until we get to our designation."

The dead whore raised an eyebrow in surprise at the silver-haired hanyou's sudden increase in sophisticated vocabulary, but she just shrugged and stared ahead again, not paying any attention to Inuyasha's sudden incoherent mumblings.

"Oi, hurry up!" He called to the priestess from a few hundred feet ahead, and she jumped in surprise, and glanced towards the sky (what for though?).

"Why must we hurry?" She asked monotonously, still staring at the sky.

The half-demon sighed in irritation and blew a piece of silver hair out of his face.

"Just go faster!" He shouted and then turned around and started running again, even faster this time.

Kinky-ho, in a rare show of emotion, looked almost frightened for a moment, but looked up when she noticed a shadow towering over her. (Even though she's hovering in the air. O.o)

Inuyasha was standing above her, a look of frustration on his face.

"Oi, Kikyo, I said hurry up, now hurry the goddamn hell up!!!" And once again, he swiftly turned around and sprinted away.

The priestess floated after him eerily, catching up to him easily, and then proceeding to hover next to him.

One again, there was an awkward silence above the two, although no one attempted to break it this time as very different thoughts were running through their heads.

'Ya know, I'm almost glad Miroku's punishment is to grope Kikyo. It'll be as much torture for her as it will be for the pervert! MWUHAHAHAHAHA!!!'

'I hope it doesn't rain. I'll probably melt because I'm made out of dirt. Oh dear. That would be bad. Oh well. Inuyasha will rescue me.'

Seemingly reading her thoughts, the half-demon glared at the sky, almost as if to say, "Don't you dare rain bitch."

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**Yeah, yeah, this chapter was short. SUCK IT UP!!! Nah, just kidding. XD Well, all I have to say is that I'm sorry that I haven't been on, and that school is a horrible, horrible thing, and…hope you enjoyed the chapter. :)  
**


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